If you have not already listened to the podcast of this category, these are the final results, so this will spoil the course of the discussion on that podcast! Be warned!
We almost always have a negative category, and it’s almost always tricky to balance. We’re of the opinion that if you are talking about the year in review and you are exclusively positive, you are misrepresenting that year. Even just trying to show the highlights, you have an obligation to say “it wasn’t all great.” So there has to be a negative category, to represent that side of the equation, if only briefly.
But the things we cover- video games, anime, manga, film… these are all really hard things to do. They take a lot of time, a lot of effort, and often a lot of money. And that’s to make them at all– you can put in all of those things and have them turn out bad. What is the appeal of a parade of negativity, then? I admit, sometimes dunking on things feels satisfying, or fun. But none of us want to spit on people’s hard work, insult their dreams, or look down on all the love that went into a project. So we need a category that is negative, but not mean– and just the one category, because let’s not dwell on it.
Most Misguided is the latest form the negative category has taken, and it might be the one to keep. I don’t want to talk about the Worst. I don’t want to say Most Disappointing like I’m a disapproving parent. I want to look at something and go, “Friend. You started with such a good idea. How did it go so wrong?”
Sadly, 2024 showed us some prime examples of it going very, very wrong.
The Winner
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
…Because really, how could it be anything else? I tried to make a case for other nominees to win, but none can match Rebirth for the vast ocean of wasted potential and terrible decisions following off an incredible premise. The promise of Final Fantasy VII Remake was an escape from the fate of a mindlessly loyal remake of Final Fantasy VII. The promise was only made in Remake, not fulfilled, but it’s understandable: FF7‘s spot in gaming canon is treated with such strict reverence that Remake had to walk players up to the point of change. It had to be pretty dang faithful to start with, and gradually show you how cool it could be if they did new things. And so at the end of Remake, they said: and now things go off the rails.
Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha… yeah. No. Whether it was fan reaction, or the pressure of the task, or if they in fact never intended to follow through, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is a product of such staggering cowardice that it boggles the mind. “Have your cake and eat it too” is insufficient- Rebirth‘s desire to be all things to all people, gesturing at possibilities it never entertains for fear of offending fans, patting itself on the back for how little it does.
And when it does do things, you’ll wish it didn’t. Insufferable dungeon design. Narrative beats that duck off the road of FF7 just long enough to shit the bed, then it’s back on the road. Character assassination of nearly the entire cast of the game, and a miserably spineless, thoughtless conclusion that truly made everyone angry. It’s frowned upon to open with a showstopper, but it’s the first year of Most Misguided, and I think this might actually be the most misguided game I’ve seen in my entire life.
The Runners-Up
Dragon Ball GT
“Bit by bit, you’re charming my heart.” These words (or, well, them in Japanese) open every episode of Dragon Ball GT, and for a good portion of the run, it’s an accurate description of our experience watching it. Messy? Clumsy? Thoughtless, at times exhausting? Yes to all of the above, but there was something there. Ideas here and there. A seed, a spark. Moments of comedy, charm, and comfort, with characters we already love from shows past. The first sixteen episodes were rough, but with enough there to make you optimistic. Then twenty-four episodes of actually pretty dang good! Seven episodes of a good idea done pretty poorly, and finally seventeen episodes that are a real letdown. Oh, and an OVA that, frankly, sucks.
So what, then… sixteen good episodes out of sixty-five? Yeeesh. Kyrie and I don’t regret our journey at all, and we now look back on Dragon Ball GT with fondness. But is it good? No. It’s, well… misguided. Good ideas led astray, all presented by a production team given one of the greatest casts of characters in all of anime… who neglect and ignore nearly all of them to show Goku do a cool punch. I like Goku doing a cool punch! I really do! But if you think that’s what Dragon Ball is about, there’s no other word for that but “misguided.”
You were given Krillin and you couldn’t make anything with him. That’s practically criminal negligence.
Long Gone Days
If we’re honest with ourselves, a JRPG about the horror and amorality of modern warfare was always going to be a tricky one to land. But we didn’t go in expecting the moon and the stars- we figured it would be different, clumsy, and interesting. That would be enough: show me a new idea, and make it pleasant or thought-provoking (hey. both would be amazing, huh?) to play through.
So why is this game the digital equivalent of Bone Hurting Juice? When we covered it on Novel Not New, we thought we discovered the answer- it seemed like the lead writer has passed away in the middle of development. Only when doing my research for this post did I discover that we’d misunderstood- the lead writer is Pablo Videla, who is still posting stuff on Twitter to this day. The credits contain an “In Memory Of” for Pedro Pablo Videla (1958-2018), and given the other clues this must be a family member of Pablo’s, possibly his father- not Pablo himself. It was an idea we were so ready to believe because of how well it explained the nosedive of quality in the story through the game, but it was ultimately wishful thinking. This was the plan.
And really, it was a bit naive of us to think such a thing was necessary for the “war is hell” JRPG to fall apart. Looking back, the writing was never good- only evocative. This is a game that includes a pacifist party member who won’t attack in combat… but will happily provide the others with buffs to do more damage. As if pacifism is saying “I won’t shoot this person, but I’ll hand you the gun to do so.” This is a story centered around a fictional subterranean fascist micro-nation of breeder-born designer babies puppeting the world’s politics from their deep earth lair. This is a game about the realism, lethality, and brutality of war, where you nevertheless shoot someone in the head 20 times, and then in the cutscene afterwards the party says “he’s just unconscious.”
There’s no special reason that Long Gone Days is bad. No cosmic event that sabotaged them. It’s just a badly-to-embarrassingly written game with bad combat and worse pacing, and a child’s understanding of the world.
Well, we’ve gotten that negativity out of our system. No more negative categories for the rest of the month- we’ll be back Friday with Best Action Toolkit to talk the joys of parries, dodges, the jump button, and more!
Our art is a commission from Sarracenian on Bluesky.