When I sit down to write a review, “value” is usually the last thing on my mind. Why would I spend time discussing the one part of a game that’s liable to change in the near future? In 6-12 months’ time, even the most unreasonably expensive titles get thrown into the endless seasonal sales thrown by Valve, Microsoft and Nintendo. Unless the game’s chock full of exploitative loot boxes or battle passes, is there any reason to waste digital ink belaboring its price?
As it turns out, losing one’s employment inevitably shifts your perspective. I’m lucky enough to have a supportive family assisting me as I hunt for a new job (and I’m incredibly grateful for their generosity), but my lack of a steady income prevents me from impulsively purchasing whatever game I please.
If I want to play a brand-new game, I need to purchase it with our site’s funds, then make something out of my time with it. I’d write a review, give my impressions on a podcast, maybe even stream it on Twitch. And if the game costs $60, that’s $60 that Six or Kyrie can’t put towards games of their own to discuss!
Keeping our team’s budget in mind as I looked over October’s new releases, my gaze turned to Sonic Superstars. My two cohorts love ribbing me over my affection for the spiky speedster and his often-middling games, but I can’t help feeling a personal connection with him! Both of us were “born” in the same year, and every one of his anniversary celebrations is like a second birthday for me. One of my most vivid childhood memories was playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in my cousin’s house, endlessly dying in the watery abyss of Chemical Plant. Even when he trips, his chemistry with a rogue’s gallery of anthropomorphic friends softens the fall.
Going into Sonic Superstars, I was stoked to play an all-new, side-scrolling Sonic platformer modeled after the classics, but there was one question at the tip of my tongue: why were they charging $60 (or $70, if you’re enticed by silly LEGO skins)? Was it jam-packed with levels? Would it introduce an exciting new twist that shook up the status quo, or offer up something more substantial than Sonic the Hedgehog 2, or even the 6-year-old Sonic Mania?
After six hours of gameplay, I found myself staring at the credits as my mind bounced between states of confusion, surprise, and utter frustration. My burning question hadn’t been answered: it only shifted form. “Why did they charge $60 for this?” became “WHY did they charge $60 for this?”
If you’ve played any side-scrolling Sonic game released in the past three decades, you know the drill. Doctor Ivo Robotnik (“Eggman” if you’re nasty), the little scamp that he is, once again wreaks havoc on a series of islands, turning its animal population into robots in a quest for world domination. Sonic and friends spring into action, collect the seven Chaos Emeralds, and beat Eggman up as many times as it takes before he goes home.
As expected, Arzest and Sonic Team threw in a few elements to mix up the formula. Up to four players can pop in and out of the game at any time (provided they’re near your couch: for whatever reason, there’s no online co-op). At your disposal are Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Amy, in her first-ever side-scrolling appearance! The normal trio control exactly how you expect – Sonic spin-dashes, Knuckles glides through the air and climbs vertical surfaces, Tails says “who needs platforming when you can fly above everything???” – while Amy gets a double-jump and a massive hammer.
Regardless of who you play as, they all feel just like how you remember them (newcomers excluded). Admittedly, flying over obstacles as Tails feels like cheating, but there’s enough sky-high platforms that he still had his moments! Each stage feels tailor-made for four different movesets at once, and each character gets their own level all to themselves, shaking things up with an upwards climb, or a far-away platform that’s just in gliding range. There’s no weak link in the lineup, which means your three other co-op friends won’t fight over the “best” furry pal!
That said? I switched to Amy halfway through the campaign on a whim and let me tell you: the Blue Blur has nothing on a girl who can double-jump and hit robots with a cartoon mallet. Why settle for anything else? There’s a fifth, mysterious character who gets unlocked after you beat the game, combining Amy’s jump and Knuckles’ wall-climbing, but come on. No hammer? No deal.
For the most part, the new levels are solid enough. Sonic 2 diehards might be miffed, as each zone calls to mind the more careful platforming seen in Sonic CD, but they strike a healthy balance between speed and caution. They take a while to jump into the wilder concepts – expect yet another rendition of Green Hill Zone, along with a pinball paradise and one of Eggman’s countless space stations – but there’s plenty of exciting alternate routes from Point A-B, along with a handful of pleasant surprises for long-time Sega fans.
Unfortunately, another new feature got in my way of enjoying these levels to their fullest: the Chaos Emeralds. You still collect them through hidden ring portals, and yes, obtaining all seven lets you go Super Sonic with 50 rings in hand, but they’re given more of a purpose this time around: each one grants our animal friends a new, unique power! These Emerald powers are slotted into a radial menu, and you can activate each one of them for a limited-time effect before they need to be replenished at a checkpoint (Note that each Emerald gets their own, single-use charge, so you can effectively roll through every one of your acquired powers between checkpoints). In principle, I love the idea! The Chaos Emeralds have traditionally been useless, only serving their purpose once you had all seven to turn Sonic “Super.” Why not make each one meaningful?
In practice, however, I all but ignored each one of the Chaos Emerald powers. Unless you’re using “Bullet” to fire yourself around the level or “Avatar” to hit a boss when jumping fails, each power is conditional to a fault. They even flash an icon in the bottom-right corner when one power is ideal for your location. But without further elaboration, or the intended target of said power in sight, they’re an underwhelming waste of time.
Speaking of underwhelming wastes of time…the bosses! Oh, boy, the bosses. Each one dishes out a dull attack pattern, gives you one opportunity to hit them, then flashes with invincibility for several seconds before repeating the process. Once you’ve committed their patterns to muscle memory, you can’t take them out faster like you could in previous Sonics: the fight is the fight, and each one is infuriatingly s l o w.
The difficulty curve is also a joke. For the first 80% of the game, each foe is an exercise in patience rather than skill. Then the last 20% rides in, punches you in the stomach repeatedly, and cackles as you keel over. All of a sudden, you’re facing multi-phase boss battles, several attacks that can kill you in an instant, and zero checkpoints in between to ease the pain. This is in spite of one boss where you fight the first phase, do 15 more seconds of platforming, then find yourself interrupted by a second, delayed phase. It’s miserable.
To make matters worse, this is one of the rare Sonic soundtracks that doesn’t hit. In spite of series regulars Jun Senoue and Tee Lopes, the music’s just…there. It’s inoffensive, and it certainly serves its purpose while you’re playing it. But if you were to ask me to hum any one of the tunes, despite finishing the game only a few days ago? I couldn’t do it. I can’t remember a single note, and for a Sonic game, that’s worrisome.
As much as I enjoyed the nods to Sega classics, the imaginative stages and the brand-new member of the Sonic crew, by the time 6 hours had passed (1 of which was devoted to the awful last boss fight), watching the credits scroll by felt like a cold bucket of water was splashed on my head. For $60, three times the price of Sonic Mania and twice as much as Sonic Origins (which features a walloping 16 Sonic games), I played a rather average game hovering close to the exact length as a Sonic from the 90s, and a competitive multiplayer mode I knew I’d never touch.
If Sonic Superstars was $30 or $40, this wouldn’t have been a problem. Granted, a lower price can’t magically fix bad bosses or an underwhelming assortment of power-ups, but a modern, 5-6 hour take on classic Sonic platforming for $40? I’d call that perfectly reasonable!
Two days after I finished Sonic Superstars, I found myself on its Steam store page again, staring daggers at its price tag. For $60, I could’ve written about another quartet of exciting indie games buried underneath October’s mammoth releases. I could become a mayor in Cities: Skylines II, pull some friends together for The Lord of the Rings: Return to Moria …hell, maybe I could spend $10 more and look at Spider-Man 2. I heard they took an axe to all the “Spider-Cop” bullshit. That’s worth examining, right?
Instead, I spent $60 of Scanline funds on Sonic Superstars, a short, incredibly frustrating follow-up to a series of games that cost a fraction of its price. I approached a row of doors, each with their own, exciting possibilities, and opened the one that left me with a wholly unremarkable game to discuss. Back when I had a job, I’d still wince at the price, but I’d chalk it up to a bad call on my part and move on. Now? I can’t believe they had the gall to charge so much for an adventure I’ve already been on, time and time again.
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