Right off the bat, I want to give something of an apology: this is going to be a messy summary of an even messier year. After all, 2020 hit all of us hard, and that made it exceptionally difficult to even think about video games on some days, let alone play or critique them.
I’ve been hiding away in this small apartment for what feels like an eternity. Work now takes place on the same screens I once used for play, which occasionally means I get yelled at in my own home. The activities I once relied on as release valves, like attending a weekend-long convention or ordering a big, fuck-off bowl of tonkatsu ramen at a nearby bar, have all but vanished. And ever since my sister had her own coronavirus scare, there’s a pretty decent chance that simply stepping into a grocery store will give me a panic attack. I can’t even get into the family dog dying, because months after her passing, it still doesn’t feel real.
Back in December, I knew our annual Game of the Year coverage was just around the corner. But every time I sat down to start brainstorming what that list would even look like, my thoughts would turn to static. I had trouble remembering the games I had played last week, let alone earlier in the year. How could I ever hope to write something worth reading?
Yet I’m here, writing this right now. Some of that brain fog cleared up in January, enough to make me realize just how important this feature is to me. In spite of everything, we press on. We hold onto the little moments of joy that we can, keeping them to ourselves or sharing them with friends. And one of my favorite moments of joy is sharing the games I love with all of you. I hope some of that comes through here, despite the doom and gloom at the top.
5. RESIDENT EVIL 3
Much like the game it’s remaking, Resident Evil 3 is a shorter, more linear experience than the blockbuster survival horror game that preceded it. It also has a daunting maze full of spiders, which was not pleasant to sprint through! But in spite of its shortcomings, there’s something satisfying about exploring even deeper into Raccoon City, ruining the Nemesis’s day, crossing our fingers in the hopes that he won’t get back up, then sighing in frustration when he does. I played it right after finishing Resident Evil 2 for the first time, and following that up with its louder, wackier action-movie counterpart felt like I was relieving all that pent-up stress from my many encounters with Mr. X.
4. TONY HAWK’S PRO SKATER 1 + 2
I’m not one for nostalgia, but I couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear when I first loaded into the Warehouse. Playing two of the most classic sports games of all time, running at a silky smooth 60 FPS, polished beyond belief, with a real-life trans skateboarder? It’s enough to make me shout with joy. Sadly, the wonderful folks at Vicarious Visions got absorbed into one of Activision’s nameless support teams, but they made one hell of a game for their curtain call. It’s rare for a remake to supersede the original to this degree, yet they nailed it.
3. FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE
When I first picked this one up, I went in under the assumption that I’d be witnessing a train wreck. Square-Enix decided they would take one of the most beloved, best-selling RPGs of all time, give it a full-blown remake for the modern era, then stretch each one of the pieces out and release them as separate games. It felt like disaster was brewing, and I wanted to see it from the front row, getting a glimpse at what happens when a titan returns to their old work.
Friends, I’ve rarely felt this happy about being wrong. Final Fantasy VII Remake is a stunning adventure from beginning to end (with some exceptions, like that goddamn Hell House), breathing oodles of life into its cast and stacked with unforgettable music. But more importantly, it isn’t a true “remake”: it is a response, in conversation with what came before. It took the “safe” project fans had wanted for over a decade, and opted to fill it with all sorts of risks and potential pitfalls. But it sticks the landing, and it is all the better for taking those risks. Even if the second part doesn’t live up to what they’ve started here, I have to imagine it’ll still hold a special place in my heart.
2. IF FOUND…
It’s fitting that during an exceptionally rough year, I gravitated to a game about a protagonist having an exceptionally rough month. If Found…’s Kasio, a trans woman in Ireland, decides to return home to the small Achill Island in December 1993. You scroll through her life with an eraser, wiping away each scene in her journal to make room for the next. It’s the sort of navigation that feels both destructive and beautiful, wiping away the day to bring about night, moving from one conversation to the next.
This is a story with plenty of dark moments, but they feel justified (being trans is fucking hard, y’all!), and it ultimately ends on a cathartic note. But more than anything else, I’m so happy that a trans game, made by trans creators and starring a trans protagonist got spread far and wide this year. For once, mainstream, cis depictions of trans characters were broken up by something genuine. I cried at my desk when I finished this one, overwhelmed by how lovely it was. I needed this to exist, and here it was, pulling me into a hug.
1. PARADISE KILLER
Look, I’ve played so many mystery games in the past. I’ve seen all sorts of approaches to the genre, each with their own ideas of how they can make satisfying mechanics out of deduction. They all have to hold your hand somehow: after all, it wouldn’t feel great if you made a mystery that no one could solve, would it? The trick is making the player feel like they’re coming to their own, correct conclusions, without outright telling them the answer or making it too obtuse.
Paradise Killer’s bold new take on the formula feels like a paradigm shift. As Six put it, it’s like someone took a walking simulator, detective game and visual novel, then weaved them together. The game will certainly throw you some leads, but getting out there and finding the evidence for yourself feels downright natural. There were so many moments where I stumbled into a vital clue after falling off a bridge, or stumbling into an amusing conversation after asking myself “What if I found my way onto this rooftop?” It helps that the world itself is a joy to explore: drowning in vaporwave aesthetic and filled with all sorts of colorful characters, I never grew bored of Paradise.
2020 saw all sorts of seismic shifts in the industry, but this game felt like a quiet revolution (even if other, bigger sites like PC Gamer or Rock Paper Shotgun were also shouting about it from the rooftops). And when things were particularly tough at home, it was the one game that broke through the rest of the static in my life. The Paradise may be imperfect, but it sure is wonderful.