Snackline Media: Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts

My last report for Snackline Media culminated with the most miserable breakfast item I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting: a Pop-Tart filled with coffee-flavored goop, perfectly engineered to spread its chemical taste across your whole mouth in seconds. I yelped and threw the remainder in the trash, certain that I was done with these …

More

Snackline Media 2017: Lemon Drink Double Feature

I won’t make any apologies for my enjoyment of the “Lime-A-Rita” family of beverages from Budweiser. To me, the taste of alcohol is both deeply unpleasant and overpowering: people offering drinks they claim “don’t taste like alcohol at all” are full of crap. I’m sure it’s true to them- their palettes cannot detect the burning …

More

Snackline Media 2017: Cookies & Creme Oreos

Oreo is, by its own proclamation, Milk’s Favorite Cookie. The king of store cookies- and it is, unquestionably- defines our expectation of creme-filled cookies. Of these, there are only two kinds: Oreos and knock-off Oreos. Consider this for a moment: when you get cookie dough ice cream, it just says that. It isn’t branded by …

More

Snackline Media 2017: Jen Takes on the Food

Another April 1st, another Snackline Media! Jen struck out with every item she chose, but her pain is your gain. Bai: Tanzania Lemonade Tea I honestly can’t think of a drink with a more obnoxious presentation. Before you even open the cap, you’re pelted with phrases like “Antioxidant Supertea,” “Nature’s Caffeine” and “Fan-favored flavor that …

More

Snackline Media: Amp Energy BOOST

When Colin pitched Snackline Media to me, I always knew he had an ulterior motive, and my suspicions were answered within mere seconds after agreeing to the idea: “You have to try Amp Energy! For the site, of course.” How could I say no? I’ve always dreamed of filling my body with as many toxic, …

More