#WeGotThis

  Dear Trans Friends, It’s been a long week, huh? We spent most of Monday and Tuesday on pins and needles, hoping beyond hope that the latest Republican plan to break our health care would bleed out on the floor (it didn’t). This morning, Trump saw an opportunity to sink the knife deeper and attack …

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Snackline Media: Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts

My last report for Snackline Media culminated with the most miserable breakfast item I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting: a Pop-Tart filled with coffee-flavored goop, perfectly engineered to spread its chemical taste across your whole mouth in seconds. I yelped and threw the remainder in the trash, certain that I was done with these …

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An Assassin’s Folly

If you were an average nobody framed for a high-profile assassination, how would you clear your name? Would you let the police arrest you, then pray that your legal defense pulls through? Maybe you’d lay low and hire a hacker, certain that the true culprit left a trail of crumbs leading straight to your salvation! …

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When You’re Smiling

By now, you’re probably familiar with Battle Royale or one of its many derivatives: a group of young people are stranded across a massive, inescapable zone littered with weapons, and are charged with killing the rest if they hope to survive. As their numbers are whittled down, friend turns against friend, unexpected romance blooms, and …

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On Uneven Comparisons

Yesterday, Ian Bogost published a piece on The Atlantic suggesting that games should drop storytelling altogether. It’s a baffling argument that talks down to the medium and its audience, suggesting that targeting teenage audiences precludes depth and excellence can only be achieved through repackaging classic ideas in novel ways. I could ask why he thinks …

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Send a Machine to Do a Goddess’s Job

I’m not sure how exactly to write this spoiler warning, because I’m not entirely convinced it’s a spoiler. Is it a spoiler to say that The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a game that isn’t particularly story-focused, sets itself up with deep and complex themes, and never follows through on them? What does …

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Snackline Media 2017: Lemon Drink Double Feature

I won’t make any apologies for my enjoyment of the “Lime-A-Rita” family of beverages from Budweiser. To me, the taste of alcohol is both deeply unpleasant and overpowering: people offering drinks they claim “don’t taste like alcohol at all” are full of crap. I’m sure it’s true to them- their palettes cannot detect the burning …

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Snackline Media 2017: Cookies & Creme Oreos

Oreo is, by its own proclamation, Milk’s Favorite Cookie. The king of store cookies- and it is, unquestionably- defines our expectation of creme-filled cookies. Of these, there are only two kinds: Oreos and knock-off Oreos. Consider this for a moment: when you get cookie dough ice cream, it just says that. It isn’t branded by …

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